Really Blue Eyes
by Impassive Tears
Summary: Craig Tucker is an asshole.


Craig Tucker is an asshole.

He really is. On a scale of 1 to 10, he's about 12 if we're talking about hostility and apathy. It's like he's incapable of feeling anything. _Anything. _I don't know why I _was _so stupid to think he would be capable of feeling something like love, but I did, and of course I believed him when he lied about it.

Honestly, I wish I had never met him. I'm so mad at him right now, but I'm mad at Stan's gang too right now. Damn, if Stan and Kyle had never meddled, I wouldn't have become friends with him. Cartman was in on it too, but I've got plenty other reasons to hate him, so that doesn't really matter. Oh, and Kenny. I hate him. A _lot_.

I can't really hate him, because that means I want him to die, and he does that all the time, so I guess I just want him to stay dead. I can't blame him for everything, because Craig was the one dating someone else, but he shouldn't have gotten into bed with someone who was taken.

It's no use ranting about it. I think, my whole life, everyone's always told me to calm down whenever I feel upset, because it'd only make me feel worse. That, and the fact no-one likes to deal with me like this.

I shouldn't have ever agreed to go out with him, though. He's so…narcissistic. Maybe it's good this happened. It might mean I'm free to find someone who's better for me, someone who's not a complete f-

But who am I kidding? Everyone thinks I'm weird. I'm addicted to coffee, and though that's not my fault, my parents brought me up with me drinking it like water, it's odd in itself and it makes me twitch and stutter. Then, no-one ever believes me when I say _any _of my theories. Not even if I talk about the gnomes, and some people have actually seen them. Ugh, gnomes…

Basically, no-one will want to go out with me. I know now why Craig ever dated me – I was probably just a charity case to him. Or maybe he thought I could make him feel something, but that obviously failed. I don't know. At the end of it, my heart isn't broken, because your brain is where you think and feel, but something really does hurt and it's making my eyes and cheeks wet as I sit on this sidewalk.

I still can't believe he slept with Kenny like that. He didn't even try to cover anything up. I just went round to the fucker's house and saw Kenny's underwear on his bed. I know it was Kenny's because it has his name stitched roughly onto it, like mine, but because he only has two pairs and he can't afford to lose another pair.

Craig didn't seem to care that much. He just told me had slept with Kenny in this casual voice, like it's some fucking routine thing he does, and didn't even flinch when I threw his lamp at him. I rushed out, and he didn't come after me. I didn't expect it, I guess.

"Tweek?" I look up. It's Stan. I don't know why he's out here. Oh, I'm right in front of his house. "Tweek." He repeats, ducking down and sitting next to me and kicking a wrapper away. I watch it fly away in the wind, silent.

"Dude, are you crying?" I don't want to tell him. It's partly his fault. If he had never made me and Craig fight, we would never have noticed each-other. If he had never made me and Craig fight, we would never have become friends. If he had never made me and Craig fight, I would never have loved him.

He grabs my shoulders, and turns me around to face him. He's gentle, but it feels like he just set me on fire or something. Stan has really blue eyes. He looks like Craig, a bit, with his black hair and long nose, but his face is rounder, less matured and sharp than Craig's. "Tweek, please tell me what's wrong."

I decide to let him know what he's done to me. "C-craig…C-c-craig…" I take a shaky breath as he furrows his eyebrows, like he's confused or something. "H-he – nngh – s-slept with *hic* K-kenny and i-it's y-" I don't have time to tell him it's his fault because he pulls me into this hug. He feels really warm, which is good, because it's cold, _I'm _cold, but I'm pissed at him. I think I cry on his shoulder for a bit, I don't know, but then he pulls away after a while.

"Fuck, I'm sorry Tweek." He says earnestly, even though I didn't tell him what he did wrong. Maybe he already realises it? I nod, there's no use being mad at _everyone. _Just, Kenny and Craig are the only ones who can't redeem themselves by just saying "sorry". "So, you're broken up?" I nod again, wiping away my tears.

Someone's kissing me. It takes me a while to realise that. Craig's kissed me so many times, but not like this, and it's not Craig, it's Stan. It's soft, and even though we're really only repetitively pressing our lips together, no tongue, it's nice. It feels really nice at least. He parts us, and groans. Was it an accident?

"Sorry, it's just – I've just – you're really cute – I liked you and- I know this isn't – don't be – mad…" He rambles, kind of like I do. Wait, Stan likes me? He thinks I'm cute? I put a hand on his back and he looks up. Again, his eyes are really blue.

"C-come to my h-house." I plead, hoping he won't just leave me. He stares at me for a minute, which makes me nervous, because it reminds me of Craig's daily stoic expression, but then he smiles, and my hand slips into his as I lead him to my house, neither of us alone and upset anymore.

* * *

Stan and I have been dating a while now. Kyle apologised to me too, when he found out about what Craig did to me, so I forgave him, though I've realised that he may just have been sorry to hear about it. He's been really supportive of us. Though, not everyone has. Cartman constantly makes fun of us, but he did that to me when I was dating Craig anyway, and Kenny avoids me, but I think he just feels guilty.

Then, there's Craig. He sends me glances all the time, but Stan always stands by me in case he comes up, and if he's not there, Kyle or Butters is. I've got a good friend in both of them now, and I think I lost all that when I started dating Craig – he didn't like me getting too close to anyone.

Today, he traps me. We're in the same P.E lesson, and as I walk into the Gym, I'm pulled back into the changing room. I struggle and try to scream but he slaps a hand over my mouth, not caring when I bite or lick him. He drags me to a cubicle in the toliets and wipes his hands on his jeans, not looking too bothered by it. But then he looks at me, and I see emotion. I'm not lying - Craig Malcolm Tucker is finally expressing feelings.

Too bad I don't care about that anymore.

"Tweek, fuck, I'm sorry." He tells me, locking the door. It reminds me of what Stan told me so long ago, but Stan had so much less to apologise for. I flit my eyes around, looking for an escape. Craig's standing right in front of it.

"I d-don't accept your apology." I say firmly and his eyes narrow. "You hurt me so much, C-" I refrain from saying his name, because he doesn't deserve that from me. "But that does't matter anymore. I love _Stan_, not _you_." Has the vein in his forehead always been that visible?

"Fine." I'm naïve enough to think he might let me go. "But you know you're mine, Tweek. You know I know you better than anyone, love you more than anyone." His fingers grab my jaw and his lips travel to my ear, licking the shell of it. I shudder in disgust and fear.

"It's only a matter of time before you come crawling back to me." He whispers and I flinch, trying to scale the wall backwards. He reaches for my belt, and my mouth drops open. "For now, I'll just make sure everyone knows that."

He shoves me backwards, onto the toilet seat, and I try to scream, but he easily muffles my noises with his hand. Oh god no, please don't let my virginity be taken by Craig. _Please._

"No!" I inaudibly shout as I bring my right hand up and smash it into his face with as much pressure as I can summon. He falls to the ground and I don't hesitate to unlock and burst out the door wiping away tears as I run.

* * *

Everything turned out okay. I told Stan what happened, and he told me some of what happened after school. I can't say much, but Craig will definitely never come near me again, and he's going to have a few gaps in his teeth for the rest of his life. Oh well.

Stan Marsh is a hero.

I don't think I've ever loved someone so much. He's everything Craig wasn't, and it's so weird I haven't just met him – he's been there all along. I guess love can strike at first sight, but not at first chance. No, you just have to wade through all the dicks first, like Cartman once said, but you've also got to get through all the hurt and rage and then, _then_, you'll find your guy.


End file.
